Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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