omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
In America we eat man semen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
