we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's rum buckets o'clock
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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