if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
