we made out on top of his cat.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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