So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
