Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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