Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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