What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize