Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
