yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your cock deserves a montage
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
