I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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