can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
