i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
