If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize