i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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