i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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