And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize