So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
