Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
