I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
