moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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