I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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