We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
