Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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