Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
