so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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