New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
