I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
