i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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