Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I skipped work to stalk him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
