now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
