What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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