I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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