meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
