I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
