Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
