but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
