im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
