I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
