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(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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