Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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