So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
