I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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