whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize