Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
