That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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