i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
