you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
