I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize