They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
