Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
