drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
