what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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