I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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