i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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