i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
