i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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